Sunday, September 1, 2013

Episode 29: Here Comes Amanda Cottontail, Bullying Her Way Down the Bunny Trail


Summer has officially come to an end for this Big Brother fan! After over 2 months of nonstop Big Brother action, I have to head on back to college. However, unlike any normal person who would want a good night's sleep and get ready to head back, a true Big Brother fan cannot be bothered with such customary ways. Nope, Big Brother fans confidently stand up and yell "Nobody gets between me and my favorite show!" Although after this season we might say it with an assertive whisper, instead of a yell. Let's be honest here people, although school comes before BB (Shhhhh, I just have to say that, BB really comes first), you can sure bet I'll be planning my schedule around the final days in the house. Welcome back to Blog Big Brother, where like GinaMarie, it's time to head back to school and learn how to speak proper English. 

We'll try to keep it quick and semi-clean tonight, but incase you're really in a rush, here's a quick rundown of Sunday's events:
  1. GinaMarie hopped her way to her 2nd HOH of the season. 
  2. Amanda is batshit crazy, but we all knew that
  3. A wild chicken magically appeared into the house, stole 10K and then disappeared again
  4. GM nominated McCranda for eviction as angels sang from the heavens
In honor of tonights episode, instead of points, we're giving away eggs! The more eggs you get, the fresher they are. The less eggs you get, the rottener they are. The players with the most eggs will gain ground in the power rankings. Those with rotten eggs will lose ground. Simple enough, so lets get started


Alright, so Aaryn just walked out the door and got a smack of reality, so now it's time someone gives Amanda the smack she needs too! During the HOH competition, GM is absolutely killing it. She must've injected herself with some bunny juice before the competition because she was speed hopping down that bunny trail. Andy was in a close 2nd behind GM, followed by McCranda and then Judd & Spencer. 

In Andy's diary room session, he says he wants to win HOH so he can make a move and prove his loyalty to the Exterminators. If Andy were to win HOH, I truly believe he would try to backdoor McCranda and not nominate them right off the bat. I don't think he'd want to anger them because he's done nothing this week that has shown me he's not afraid of Amanda.

Spencer & Judd just sucked major eggs in this competition. Seriously though, they could've been sucking on those eggs, instead of trying to maneuver them through the fence, and still do just as good. Overall, there performance was just rotten, pun intended. That's why they both rightfully got the chicken costumes (-10 Eggs each).

With Spencer & Judd in dead last, GM & Andy were frontrunners… I'm sorry, according to Andy, front-hoppers. The cheesiness of that comment shouldn't even have been said or written on this blog. But it was, and I liked it (+5 Eggs to Andy).

GINAMARIE WINS HOH (+50 Eggs)!!!!!


Elissa of course is ecstatic because they formed an alliance and built a stronger bond the week prior. So if Elissa is happy, I'm happy! However, if Elissa is happy, then Amanda becomes emotionally unstable and chucks all the eggs at Elissa. Then Elissa uses her yoga moves to dodge every egg and does some flips and starts smacking Amanda in the face. However, this is when McCrae pops in to help Amanda but gets too tired and immediately falls asleep. Judd & GM then get into a huge fight over nuclear physics. For some reason, Spencer then thinks this is a perfect time to crack a child porn joke, but the FBI airlifts him from the house and send him to a Mexican prison. While all this is going on, Andy goes and tattles to the people from Men in Black and they all erase America's memory of this ever happening. Luckily for me though, I was wearing sunglasses, so I remember everything. But all you guys remember seeing is what happened after Spencer was brought back into the house.


After Elissa is congratulating GM, Amanda yells from across the yard, "I don't know why you're happy, you just sent her best friend home. So you should wipe that smile off your face" (-10 Eggs). Last time I checked Amanda, you voted to evict Aaryn. If you, McCrae & GM voted to evict Andy, then Andy would be gone and Aaryn would still be in the house. So actually, you voted out Aaryn. Nice try, but GM & Elissa are no idiots.

Following the HOH, Amanda tried to get GM to nominate Elissa, but like GM said, "I may be blonde and I may be cute, but my name's not Aaryn. It's GinaMarie" (+15 Eggs). After GM celebrates with the Exterminators, Spencer goes to McCranda and plays dumb, saying GM will probably nominate him & Elissa. Just keep pulling that wool over McCranda's eyes. That's literally the only thing you've done in the house. Spencer & Andy have created a nice big "spool of lies."


As a result in sucking in the HOH competition, we have now seen the creation of "Big Fried Chicken" and "Chicken Nugget!" Both should just stay in these suits for the rest of the game.


When Amanda tries to get GM to nominate Judd, GM just nods her head and agrees. However, when Amanda leaves the room, GM just laughs behind her back and I love it (+5 Eggs)!

Who wants to see GM's HOH room? Great, another picture of Nick. The part that annoyed me up in the HOH was actually ELISSA!! Shocker! Elissa saying "I miss her so much" referring to Aaryn is complete BS. Take that back Elissa (-10 Eggs). To be fair though, I think you were just trying to make some digs at Amanda, which I'm all for! However, you do a much better job down in the living room.


In the living room, Elissa is talking to Spencer & Andy on how Amanda treats her. Yet, when Amanda comes in and starts talking trash to her, Spencer & Andy just sit there. They both do NOTHING to help Elissa out. After seeing so many weeks of Amanda being a bully, I can't believe Andy & Spencer just go along with it. They say they don't agree with it when talking to Elissa (even sometimes saying it's both of their faults), however, when talking to Amanda, they completely agree that Amanda's in the right. Get a backbone (-15 Eggs) But guess what, Elissa doesn't need them. Her comment about Jessie being the only 10 was COMPLETE GOLD (+25 points). Amanda is so low, that Elissa knows that taking the high road is the best way to beat Amanda, and it works! Even when Elissa walks away, somehow Elissa is bullying Amanda… it's ridiculous.

This is Amanda's attempt at an apology: "I don't want to fight with you, but I feel like you're antagonizing me and I have to stick up for myself… do you not see that?" One of the actual worst apologies ever. Amanda said that so now she can say she attempted to mend bridges, but Elissa didn't want to. STFU Amanda (-10 Eggs).


The Luxury Competition was the LAZIEST and most USELESS competition in the history of this season! Spencer won $10K for popping balloons… I mean, good for you Spencer (+15 Eggs). But honestly, BB just threw that $10K away… why not put something else in the balloons, like a vote nullification, just to make things more interesting! Use the money in an HOH competition and see who goes for the money and who goes for the power. There was no point to the whole thing and the worse part about it is that the person who has done the least amount in this game has got rewarded. Absurdity at its finest right here.

Back to business! And the houseguests nominated for eviction are:


Amanda & McCrae (-30 Eggs each)! This was the best nomination ceremony of the season! GM targeted a huge dymanic… dymamic… ahh! Judd, what's that word? Dynamic? Oh okay! GM targeted a huge dymanic… AHHH! GM nominated a huge power couple! When you're looking for Judd on pronunciation, things are pretty bad.

BEST QUOTE OF THE DAY (+5 EGGS):


"McCrae & Amanda is been puppeting Aaryn"

POWER RANKINGS!


As always, check jokersupdates.com for the latest Big Brother news, that's what I do when I'm not watching the feeds on cbs.com/bigbrother

Until next time, may Big Brother bring you a summer of laziness, spitefulness, rage and just overall happiness as it has brought me!

Follow me on Twitter @AndySloanBU





14 comments:

  1. Very nicely done, Andy, and thanks for wearing your sunglasses so that you could relate what the men in black erased. I didn't see what you did, of course, since I wasn't wearing mine. And to be honest, it's hard to believe that Amanda, who's been a model of decorum this summer, would resort to hurling eggs. Really, I thought she was "ova" the whole being-angry-at-Elissa thing. (Oh, come on. If you liked Andy's pun, you have to like mine.)

    It's hard to imagine that Gina, whose gracelessness during Candice's eviction was so off-putting and whose verbal charades may have earned her a come-to-Julie moment like Aaryn's, would supply what is arguably the best moment of the season to date. She's certainly not a dymanic speaker, but she clearly put thought into the key order for the nomination ceremony. I'm reminded of a scene from an old Simpson's episode when Lisa has to tell Ralph that she doesn't like him and Bart replays video of Ralph, saying that you can see the exact moment at which his heart broke. I know I wasn't alone watching Amanda closely to see first the realization and then the heartbreak. I don't like taking pleasure in others' misery, but I have to admit that the realization part, at least, was, in the vernacular of my old stomping grounds, wicked awesome.

    I'm concerned that GinaMarie may have to be evicted, though, for smuggling a spine into the game. A lot can change in a few days, but it appears that GinaMarie may actually be immune to Amanda's charms and gentle persuasion. It's not clear that she's as aware as you of Amanda's role in Aaryn's eviction--Amanda appears genuinely not to recall--, but she does appear to be a vertebrate and fully prepared to keep to her plan.

    Best of luck on Commonwealth Ave., Andy, and I hope you can keep up the blog without sacrificing your commitment to academic excellence. +50 eggs for you.

    Phil

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked! Best line of the day "I'm concerned that GinaMarie may have to be evicted, though, for smuggling a spine into the game." SOO FUNNNNY! Also, Thanks so much for the luck heading back to school! I think I'll need it. Big Brother just takes me out of reality, so hopefully I don't try to evict my professor or veto myself from the class!

      I think what made Amanda's nomination so much sweeter, was that she was in the living room and talking smack about Elissa and telling her she was going up. Amanda has been so used to being in power (even with last week she had the veto), that it's great to see her sitting on the block.

      Delete
  2. Dear Andy,

    Thank you.

    This was so funny...

    Everyone's asleep here. So, I tried to hold it in... I really did.

    But eventually it came spitting out.

    Yeah, thanks to you, and I really do thank you. I really do. I literally spit repressed, trying to hold it in with the palm of my hand, actual Big Brother spit.. all over this already abused, barely working piece of crap computer

    I'm not writing about Big Brother my self this year. But I'm still keeping tabs on what the rest of the Big Brother World's thinking about these morons.

    Just wanted to let you know that my brain thanks you -for the laugher... and even for the spit.

    The computer... Ah, not so much.

    But who cares.
    I needed the laughes.

    C. Rutolo Dietrich

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Thank you! Tell your computer I'm sorry :D

      Delete
  3. omg sooooo goood. i was like screeching with anticipation the whole episode. Just couldnt wait to see amandas face when the nominations were called. Especially after telling MY GURL ELISSA that SHE was gonna be on the block. SO GOOD to see that cow get what she deserves. When she gets out her life is going to be a mess because everyone will know how evil she is.

    Biggest ever Aussie fangirl

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    Replies
    1. Haha, I think knowing McCranda was going to be nominated this episode made everything Amanda did so much more ridiculous! It was definitely a good one last night!!

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  4. Easily the best line of the night occurred in the backyard. Amanda was again railing on Elissa, and said she felt like she was in high school again.

    Spencer was laying there, and deadpanned "You were a raging bitch in high school?" No one said a word about that comment and just kept right on talking. Maybe he mumbled it and his mic picked it up, but it was pure gold...

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  5. If Spencer said that to Amanda....YEAH! I'm surprised everyone doesn't gang up on Amanda and give her a taste of her own medicine. I can't believe she says Elissa is picking on her! I know they don't have to but I am a little taken aback that Spencer, Judd, and even Andy have not stood up to Amanda's bullying.

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  6. judd Did stand up to her once I saw it that is why she thinks they are a together

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  7. My first year watching BB,,,everybody tells me I picked a good season (Not). Anyway Andy I must compliment you on having one of the funniest blogs I have read so far. Great Job! Have a great school year!

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  8. I'm amazed at how spineless these ppl are. They got rid of the ppl who has some backbone early on and now we are left with that ugly bully Amanda,the pizza girl McCrae and the rats Andy and Spencer. I really hope either Elissa or Judd win hoh and evict McCrae or Andy. Aren't Andy and Spencer worried abt what their friends and colleagues must be thinking abt them? If I knew either of them in real life, I would never speak to them again.

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  9. Andy,

    You haven't posted in a few days, and that's too bad since your take on recent episodes would have been most welcome. I will assume, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, that you've been hard at work studying non-abelian groups, the nature of geophysical changes in pre-Stalin Russia, or whatever subjects you are taking.

    After the 500th episode, I've decided I don't need a 501st. There's simply nobody in the game I'd like to win. And I suppose I must confess that Julie's giving Amanda a free pass on her offensive statements did not impress me. So best of luck in your studies, and if you're still watching, I do hope that the person you want is the ultimate winner.

    Best,

    Phil

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete