All 4 jurors are back in the house, big hard balls are getting chucked at deserving houseguests, and a swig of nail polish remover now sits in the belly of demon spawn Aaryn Gries. It's just another casual day in the Big Brother house. Welcome back to Blog Big Brother where like Elissa, we're ready to see this house get flipped upside down.
Now because in this episode not only did Elissa win a deserving HOH, but we got to hear from Rachel… in letter form of course. It's time to PART-AY! So instead of giving away points, we have to plan for our BIG BB celebration this week! To honor the famous Rachel Reilly, we're giving away TEQUILA SHOTS! The less tequila shots you get, the less partying you get to do. Got it? Good.
This is the episode I've been waiting 3 long days for. Jessie was finally back on my television, and although it was only for a few minutes, it was glorious. But before we get to that, we have to push through some BB BS.
Following Helen's eviction, we get to see Andy cry for the third consecutive week. We don't want this at our BB celebration (-5 tequila shots). Get a grip Andy. You're the reason Helen is out the door because you could've flipped with GM. Actually, Amanda will get the credit for Helen's eviction. Amanda has you so tightly wound around her grubby little fingers that she actually deserves all the credit. Just get your act together Andy; with Helen gone, you've become the new Amber from BB8.
OKAY! The jurors are back, the HOH has begun and this recap is just getting started! It was awesome seeing everyone back in the house and the diary room! A the beginning of the competition, Helen starts dishing out information from the past week. She informs the jurors that she was nominated against Spencer and then said, "He can win this game if he lasts this long." Helen, even though you're out of the game, I'm handing you your last STFU of the season. If Spencer wins this game it will be a travesty. Not only has he made comments that put America in an uproar but he has absolutely NO game.
The best part about this competition was that the house was literally going balls to the wall. They were hanging onto a wall and balls were being thrown everywhere. Finally production just sends a little love tap to Helen's yapper, telling her to STFU. Luckily for GM, Candice will no longer be able to have babies because, lets be honest, Candice's babies could beat up GM's babies. Amanda's right boob has been popped. Everyone else is left emotionally scarred.
What do you know, the first person to fall is Spencer (-10 tequila shots) and surprisingly McCrae (-10 tequila shots). It was even wicked close for Elissa! Thank God the feeds were cut for that because that would've made me even MORE uneasy for the next hour. Then, next houseguest to fall is Andy. That's 2 members of 3AM down and 1 left to go!
The darkest few minutes of this episode were when the first juror fell. Jessie said it herself that this was her competition! However, a slight slip-up sent her from 2nd place to out the door! Although she's out of the house, she left in a blaze of glory, letting Amanda know how she really feels! Although Jessie is out of the house, we're giving her a golden pass to attend Elissa's HOH party… she can at least be in there in spirit.
Now that Jessie left, I'm #TeamCandice, and what the heck, I'm even #TeamHelen. BUT, Candice falls right after Helen! COME ON! Both are now out of the game and off our guest list, Therefore, by default, Judd has won his way back into house. That means J-U-Double D Party Daugherty has moved straight into Elissa's VIP section of her HOH celebration. Points wise, Judd wanted to start fresh with everyone, so just like his game, we're resetting his points. However, winning a spot back into the game is a HUGE deal (+100 tequila shots). Not many people get 2nd chances Judd, use it wisely!
Knowing where Judd's head is at, and that he wants to get out Amanda, it would've been nice to see him win HOH. However, Judd's the next to fall, leaving GM, Amanda & Elissa in a three way battle for HOH.
Amanda almost falls, but does a great job with saving herself (+5 tequila shots). But then Elissa tops that, completely falling off her stand and then swingings back on (+10 tequila shots). Where's Julie when you need her to tell Elissa that her yoga is really paying off?
Praise the BB GODS!! Elissa has finally won an HOH and it's time for Amanda and Aaryn to feel her wrath!
In the bathroom Elissa and Judd reconcile, which I'm all for! But back in the bedrooms, Aryan is about to have a meltdown. Honestly, through all the crap Aaryn has put people through she deserves to walk out that door. That disclaimer at the beginning of the show now is a constant reminder of what Aaryn has done. Like you said Aaryn, "karma's real America" (-10 tequila shots). Amanda has been pulling Aaryn's strings this whole season, so if necessary, Amanda will have no problem cutting those strings and throwing em out the door.
For the rest of the episode, we pretty much get to see Amanda try to control Elissa's nominations. BUT, Elissa is no puppet and she knows what she's doing. Elissa tells Amanda that Aaryn is her #1 target, but she needs someone strong right next to her, to win the POV. Fair argument Elissa, but Amanda isn't having it.
Who Wants to See Elissa's HOH Room? Well, according to Amanda, no one. But according to a huge portion of America, everyone! So take that Amanda (-5 tequila shots). When Elissa starts reading her letter, we see it's from Rachel!! The first sentence, "Hey Girl, Hey," which Elissa horribly imitated. Rachel speaks a mile a minute, Elissa speaks an inch an hour.
Back down in the bedrooms, Amanda is complaining that Elissa is making the wrong decision in not nominating GM. There will be no complaining at Elissa's HOH celebration Amanda (-5 tequila shots). Putting GM up is best for you, but this week isn't about you Amanda, FOR ONCE. However, when McCranda makes a plea up in the HOH, Elissa can't help but laugh, and I can't help but give her more tequila shots (+10 tequila shots). Plus, Elissa delivers the best line of the episode: "I want everyone to be scared because that's how I feel every week." That's what I'm talking about!
Now it's time for the stupidest moment of the season award: Aaryn drinking nail polish remover (-10 tequila shots)! This was soo funny! I can be so clueless sometimes and can totally see myself doing something like this, but because I strongly dislike your personality Aaryn, it makes this whole fiasco so much better! Luckily for you though, there will be no nail polish remover at the celebration. However, luckily for America, you might not be there either.
Judd & Elissa form a final 2 deal, which is great, but now this week Judd has also formed an alliance with GM, Spencer & Andy (called the exterminators) and is quick to throw Elissa under the bus to Amanda & McCrae. So I don't really know where his loyalties lie because he's clueless when it comes to knowing what's going on in the house.
After Aaryn makes a last ditch effort to save herself, which pretty much Elissa refuses to listen to, it's time for the nominations ceremony!
Not only will the nominees not be up for eviction, they will not be attending our party. Elissa has chosen to axe Aaryn & McCrae from the guest list (-20 points each), but they might just be able to win their way back in with some golden swag. Also, Amanda can just GTFO because she's been a Mega-B this whole week (-10 tequila shots). Check back after Wednesday's episode to see some more party planing action, and then on Thursday to see how Elissa's party plays out on Eviction Night! :D
GM Face of the Day (+5 Tequila Shots):
Best Face (+5 Tequila Shots):
What's coming up next on Blog Big Brother?
Well, there's only 3 weeks left of the BEST television show on air and we'll have to wait until next summer for a new batch of houseguests! HOWEVER, we'll be recapping this season of SURVIVOR, with BB alum Hayden Moss! This season looks flippen awesome and although I can't wait, I totally can because I don't want BB to end! And hey, there may be a few more surprises...
As always, check jokersupdates.com for the latest Big Brother news, that's what I do when I'm not watching the feeds on cbs.com/bigbrother
Until next time, may Big Brother bring you a summer of laziness, spitefulness, rage and just overall happiness as it has brought me!
Follow me on Twitter @AndySloanBU