Can I get a cannon for my two fallen celebrities this week? Welcome back to Blog Big Brother, where Donald Trump shits on CBS shows and we don't let it slide! To clarify, in classic throwback Thursday fashion, Trump branded the Amazing Race as a "boring piece of crap" for robbing him of a 2004 Emmy. Well Mr. Trump, it ain't Thursday and you ain't a winner. Check yourself before you call early Amazing Race boring. But hey, we still watch your show, so grab a tissue and move on.
As NBC plows through another 2 episodes of our beloved Celebrity Apprentice, lets take a step back and reflect! Think Vivica A. Fox to NBC as Kate Gosselin is to us. We keep it chill and sometimes are a sloppy mess.
The challenge for task #6 was to create a mobile marketing event for Ivanka Trump's shoe line featured at Nordstrom department stores. Upon hearing the criteria, Sig Hansen's only contribution to the episode was complaining all tasks have been feminine. Thanks Sig, glad you could contribute something.
More importantly, we got to see JOAN RIVERS!! Although I wish the whole episode was Rivers laying into some of these contestants, NBC kept it brief and classy.
The project mangers for the task were Shawn Johnson and Kenya Moore! Oh wait.. I'm hearing from Lou Ferrigno that Shawn once again didn't feel like she could put on a marketing event. Vivica A. Fox stepped up instead. Dammit Shawn! If I didn't like you so much, I'd might still be mad. And if I didn't lie just to lie, then I wouldn't pretend I know Lou Ferrigno.
Team Vortex got off to a solid start, designing a relaxed "Nordstrom feel" inside their show truck, with a concept I Am: Smart, Beautiful, Busy, etc. highlighting the product's target audience: working class women.
Team Infinity saw a bit more disorganization, with no unifying concept, but integrating an old fashion "Nordstrom Feel."
|Marketing truck for Team Vortex|
When push came to shove, Vivica dropped the decided upon concept due to lack of space and opted for a "barista" theme on the outside of the truck. Instead of going with the flow and supporting their team, Shawn and Kate Gosselin chose to shut down and detach themselves from the project manager. Vivica had your back stepping up as Project Manager, why don't you reciprocate a little?
On presentation day, Vortex thrived with their target audience. Not with the shoes though. They came and stayed for the free coffee. The shoes came secondary.
|Marketing truck for Team Infinity|
Meanwhile at Infinity, Kenya came to battle with the slogan Power Up Your Sole, a well designed truck and a catalogue of every shoe available. Despite an old-fashion theme, Kenya pulled off a victory and walked away with $40,000 for the Detroit Public School Foundation.
In the boardroom, Vivica targeted Kate for elimination, but ultimately Trump couldn't oversee Shawn's inexperience and unwillingness to take charge. The Olympic Gymnast became the 6th celebrity fired from the boardroom.
Ding-Ding. Round 2.
For this task, teams had to create a viral video for Chock full o'Nuts using only a GoPro. Just putting it out to the universe, I want a GoPro. I can record myself eating McDonalds and taking naps. It'd be beautiful.
Anyway, Project Manager Lorenzo Lamas kept it safe for Vortex with an "evolution of Chock full o'Nuts" video. When Geraldo Rivera first brought up the idea, it had potential, but ultimately didn't go far enough and pack a punch.
Project Manager Leeza Gibbons went full on creative, capitalizing on the feuding Kenya Moore and Brandi Glanville. In the video, Ian Ziering and Johnny Damon were fantasying about the Kenya/Brandi brawl. However, it lacked sufficient brand messaging, falling on Ian, who suddenly became a complete douche this episode.
In the boardroom, Kenya dropped some low blows, calling out Brandi for getting personal during the shoot, yet saying Brandi's husband left her for a younger, more attractive women. Dis bitch got a storm brewing and I'm SO PATIENTLY waiting for the explosion of the series between her and Vivica.
For now, Kenya's safe because the execs largely favored Team Infinity's edginess, leaving Lorenzo Lamas up a creek with a tiny paddle that he chooses to just throw away.
|I'll give anyone $1 if they can find Sig Hansen in this picture|
Instead of bringing 3 people to the boardroom, Lorenzo embraces the flames and gets fired. A mistake? Definitely. At the bare minimum, Lorenzo had 2 easy picks: Kate (for being a constant target/weak link) and Sig (for doing nothing). Much like Shawn didn't step up, Sig hasn't either and he's contributed significantly less compared to her. BUT NO! As an actor, you really don't know how to give us a show.
THAT'S IT! YA MADE IT! We have 3 episodes left and have Sig Hansen waiting in the wings as Project Manager. Anything can happen!
Get at me on twitter @AndySloanBU, the meaner the better!